Gettin' Edjumakatid.

Well, I've been busy and neglecting my blog because I've finally started my classes for my alternate certification program so that I can be certified to teach. My classes started a week ago today, and so far, so good.

I go Tuesday nights from 6-9pm and on Saturdays from 8:30-3:30pm. Each class is 3 hours, (we have 2 classes on Saturdays) and it's actually not too bad. The class goes by relatively quickly and I'm meeting some nice people.

I will say, however, it never ceases to amaze me just how stupid some people can be, even future educators.

In order to be accepted the particular program that I am enrolled in, you make an appointment at the office, you go in, you watch a video that breaks down how the program works. After the video, a representative of the company, (in my case, the founder of the program) comes and takes questions about that video, then explains that a critical thinking skills test is going to be administered. You then take the test, turn it in, and wait for it to be evaluated. When they're ready, they call you in, let you know if you've been accepted, and if so, they explain the program to you AGAIN and give you a folder with all sorts of information, including a flow chart of how the program works.

HOW IS IT that people STILL had questions about it on Tuesday, our first day of class? Seriously? It's not that difficult.

1. Get accepted.
2. Begin your classes.
3. Take your content-area test. (so the state knows you're competent in your subject)
4. Do observations
5. Do an internship or student teaching.
6. Take another state-test.
7. Become certified.

Not difficult. At all. Yet after our teacher went through the program breakdown on Tuesday, a jillion hands shot up. I just don't understand how it's so difficult to understand. I mean, teachers are supposed to be somewhat intelligent, right?

At one point, our teacher was asking people what everyone's content-area is, and this guy honestly responds, "Uh...I think it's uh...social studies."

Really? You think you're certifying in social studies? Shouldn't you like, know or something? I mean, considering if you're taking the course, you HAVE to take your first content test in the area that you have the most college hours in. People really exasperate me sometimes.

However, I have found a friend in the class who experiences the same frequency in eye-rolls as I do during our classes. She and I have taken to shooting looks at each other when we really want to just raise our hand and yell, "SHUT UP, seriously."

Additionally, I'll never fully understand why people feel the need to randomly interject their long-winded personal stories and outlooks in the middle of the lecture. It's one thing if we're having a Q&A time, but when the teacher is trying to explain the principles and theories of Piaget, why must someone raise their hand and just start telling their personal life story on why Piaget has influenced them to become the magnificent teacher they hope to be at that moment? The rest of the class would like to just hear what the paid professional at the fron of the classroom has to say about Piaget, not the fellow student.

Maybe I'm bitter from endless years of schooling, but that kind of stuff just bothers me. The teacher isn't there to be a one-on-one conversationalist with you. The teacher is there to teach THE CLASS, so please respect the time and money that everyone is spending on the class and SHUT UP.

:) Oh, the life a student...I thought I was done. I may sound really negative, but I've found myself looking forward to going to class and all of that. I'm enjoying learning about being a better educator and knowing that each class is bringing me one step closer to becoming certified, but I just have a low-tolerance for idiots.

The Waiting Game.

Life is so full of fun little games.

There's the OMGI'MABOUTTORUNOUTOFGASIHOPEIMAKEITTOTHEGASSTATION game. (Who doesn't love a good round of that?!)

There's the I'MGOINGTOSWIPEMYCREDITCARDANDHOPEITAPPROVES game, played mostly in college.

There's the I'LLJUSTSLEEP5MOREMINUTESMYALARMWLLTOTALLYWAKEMEUP (I THINK) game.

You know, fun games.

My current fun game I'm playing is...the waiting game.

I can't really go into too much detail now about it, because the whole situation is kind of hush-hush, but someone I know just interviewed for a job and is trying to get my lined up as their replacement, so in order to be ready if they get hired, I have done everything I can to be ready for an interview. Since my last post, I have applied and been accepted to a certification program for teaching, I have registered and paid for my test over my content area (theatre), I have finally completed the whole "changing of the name" task that I've been too lazy to do for months, I have my TB skin test and fingerprints (required by the state) and I just have all my ducks in a row. Did I mention that IF this works out, it's an actual teaching job with actual students with actual pay and benefits for an actual public school?

It would be absolutely fantastic IF this all works out in my favor, and as much as I want it to become true, I refuse to let myself get overly hopeful about the situation. I am preparing myself for them to call me and say, "sorry, it's not going to work out, peace out, homie" because if that actually happens, I won't be ready to chug a gallon of bleach. IF it does work out in my favor, then I'll know that I'm incredibly lucky and blessed to the in the situation and hit the ground running. It's sort of difficult to keep that mentality, which is why I keep typing "if" in all-caps, but it's because I want it so badly. I know that if it doesn't work out, then something better WILL come along, but it would just be nice IF this does work out in my favor.

We will see as the waiting game continues.

Little Accomplishments.

When it comes to household chores, I don't really mind them too much. Once I get in a cleaning mood, I can get things cleaned thoroughly and quickly, and I love the way you feel after you've cleaned an entire room or your entire house from top to bottom.

However, there is one chore that I absolutely cannot stand, and that's laundry. My poor husband ends up doing most of it, because I just absolutely hate it. It's SUCH a long process. You have to gather them, sort them, put them in the washer, take them out of the washer, put them in the dryer, take them out and then fold them or hang them and then put them away. It's the never-ending cycle, and I hate it. I would honest-to-goodness rather scrub the toilets than do laundry, because toilets are quick. I mean sure, they're gross, but it's not like my bathroom is a public restroom. You just put the cleanser in, let it sit for a few minutes, scrub it with the brush, wipe down the seat/lid/rim and voila! You're done in 15 minutes or less, and it's not a daily chore.

Sorry, I'm rambling. What else is new, right? Anyway, yesterday, I got a bite from the cleaning bug and decided to really, really clean our bathroom, more thoroughly than I ever had and it's just so stinking clean. Additionally, I have washed, folded/hung, and put away all most every article of clothing/towels in our house. Currently, there is a load of jeans in the dryer, a load of socks in the washer, a small batch of towels and a small batch of shirts that have to washed in their own load, because they were dyed recently and have to be washed in their own load for the first 5 washes. That's it.

I also am about halfway through getting the kitchen cleaned, and I honestly just this minute, since I started typing this sentence decided that I'm going to clean out the refrigerator today.

Seriously. I feel so accomplished right now. I think it's those little feelings of accomplishments that get me by since I still can't grab a job.

Oh, and one more thing. I can rarely smell the detergent we use on our clothes, which always bums me out, because it seems like everyone I know always has these great-smelling clothes and mine just don't. ALL of the loads I've washed since yesterday smell spectacular. I switched from using liquid Gain to powdered Gain because you get 16 extra loads for the EXACT same price as the liquid (64, liquid: 80, powdered) and it's the same scent as the liquid I was buying, but it's JUST SO FRAGRANT and that makes me happy. :)

Again, little accomplishments.

My Near Death Experience(s) on the Interstate

Yesterday, I had the fabulous task of driving through Houston. I decided to go at a time when the roads wouldn't be clogged with traffic, since I just knew that would make my drive easier.

My lesson? Just because you're not in bumper-to-bumper traffic doesn't mean that you're not on the highway with Houston's finest idiots.

I was probably about 15 minutes into my drive, enjoying my Frou Frou CD somewhat mindlessly when I realize that I'm going about 55mph in a 65mph zone. UM...WHAT THE HECK? I immediately throw on my blinker to get around the bozo in front of me that has NOBODY in front of him so that I may continue on my journey at a speed that is suitable for highway driving.

OF COURSE I CAN'T GET OVER. Everyone is speeding around ME, being truly Houstonian and NOT LETTING ME OVER. Then, the vehicle in front of me starts speeding up, and I was like, "Oh, good. He finally got the memo that this is NOT the place to be trailin' along like Granny."

Nope. He slows back down to his comfortable 55mph. This guy is killing me at this point, so much that I may or may not be audibly saying in my best whiny 6-year old voice, "Dude, COME ONNNNNN-UH!!! JUST DRIVE-UH!!!"

I finally manage to get around this person, and of course when I do, traffic is slowing down a little due to merging lanes and whatnot, and I find myself wishing I was still behind "10 & 2" my favorite slow-moving driver, (I actually verbally called the slow guy '10 & 2' at some point, because when I was driving next to him he had his elbows locked and his hands precisely at 10 & 2) because I have managed to get stuck behind an 18-wheeler, and that's never fun. What felt like decades later, I finally am able to get past the slow-traffic, past 10 & 2 and past the 18-wheeler. I'm driving happily at 65mph, (I truly am not much of a speeder) where there wasn't really anyone on either side of me and I start coming up on another chunk of slow-traffic ahead. (That's part of the beauty of Houston traffic. Just as soon as there's an open part of the highway, it's only seconds before you're at the next slow. SO FUN. Try it sometime.

I inevitably find myself in the left lane sandwiched between the barricade from the highway and yet another stream of 18-wheelers, driving behind a very large industrial big rig. This makes me uncomfortable because in my head, my reality is turning into a scene from Final Destination and it always freaks me out a little. Moments later, a lane begins to merge into the left lane of the highway, and there's nobody coming, so there's finally more space. It was like a breath of fresh air and happiness to me until...

OHMYGODOGMYGODOHMYGOD. IS THAT TRUCK SERIOUSLY ABOUT TO JACK-KNIFE IN FRONT OF ME?!?! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD. WHY IS HE SWERVING? I'M GOING TO SLAM DIRECTLY INTO THIS GUY AND BLOW UP WHEN MY CAR HITS HIS GAS TANK. OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD.

These are the thoughts going through my head as the industrial big rig starts swerving in front of me at weird angles. I start slowing down as I'm picturing explosions and imagining what it's going to feel to die in 10 seconds when the truck gets it together and keeps truckin' along and starts speeding to about 75mph.

What just happened? Why did this guy just put MY life in danger? Doesn't he know how to drive that thing?

As I'm contemplating whether or not this guy even has a license or the training to drive that vehicle, yet another fabulous incident occurs. Before I tell you, let me explain something to you.

Down here in the good 'ol south, there are LOTS of large trucks, and the kind of trucks I'm referring to are called "DUELIES" 'round these parts. Usually, "DUELIES" are meant for farm-use, as denoted on their license plates, but I always manage to see these stupid trucks on the INTERSTATE IN HOUSTON, which is clearly NOT on the farm. I believe that in order to own a "DUELIE" you have to be completely devoid of intelligence or driving skill, because these are always the jerks that are inconsiderate on the road.

For anyone scratching their heads and thinking, "Really...what is a 'duelie' and what does it look like?"

ENTER "DUELIE" DRIVING HICK WHO CUTS ME OFF AND ALMOST HITS ME WITH HIS EXTENDED 5th AND 6th WHEELS.

Seriously, had I not just encountered a horrifying near-death-experience with the random industrial big rig? Was that just NOT enough? Ugh, sometimes, driving in Houston is just too spayshul.

I did manage to make it safely to my destination, in one piece, without my life turning into a scene from Final Destination. Whew.

Little Boxes on a Hillside...

Little boxes on a hillside
little boxes made of ticky-tacky
little boxes on the hillside
little boxes all the same
there's a pink one, and a green one,
and a blue one and a yellow one
and they're all made out of ticky-tacky
and they all look just the same.

Dudes...I love the show Weeds. Seriously. I know I mentioned it briefly in my last post, but I'm going to expand on that today.

I had never seen it until a couple of weeks ago, but I have known of it's existence for years thanks to my tenure at Blockbuster back in the day. I've never had Showtime, so how would I have watched it before shows came out on DVD, but when they came out on DVD I was like, "Um...what is this show? Whatever, I'll just get The Notebook."

Well, enter Netflix. Travis and I have had Netflix for several months now, but it's only lately that I'm discovering the magic that a mere $8.99/month gets me. I mean you get your mailer, (I currently have Changeling and have had that one since May 8th, I kid you not. I still haven't watched it.) but you also can watch movies instantly online and on your XBOX, Wii or PS3. Since instant streaming came to the XBOX, I can honestly say that I am glad that Travis has one. He's probably jumping for joy at me recognizing that something good can come from the XBOX.

So as I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I was finishing off the Nip/Tuck series just as my best friend, Kim, (BFF 4 LIFE, Y'ALL!!) had decided to tell me about a show that she picked up on Netflix called Weeds. She was like, "You know, I think you might like it. I mean, you might not, but you might. They're like, all sarcastic and you're pretty sarcastic. Actually, I think you're going to like it. You should watch it."

I then opted to give it a shot, and a few episodes later, I texted Kim and declared my new found love for the show. I definitely appreciate the humor. It's quick-wit and I love it, but not like in Sex and the City (a show that I do love, I'll admit) and it's pun after pun after pun. SJP, I love you, but all the puns got old. I didn't really notice/care about the puns until TBS started rerunning the show over. And over. And over.

I'm currently in season three of Weeds and have yet to tire of the humor being laid before me. I think that even more than the script, it's small choices by the actors and directors that I love so much. I love that when Celia's husband, Dean, got fired from his job, he attacked a former co-worker on his way out and another coworker immediately pulls out their phone and snaps a picture. I don't know why, but that little part of that episode cracked me up.

And of course there's Doug, the CPA/City Commissioner who is played by Kevin Nealon, and that he is fantastic as that character. He always does random things or throws out little one-liners that make the episode great.

If you're looking for a show to watch, I vote that you get your hands on Weeds. It's only a 30-minute show, which seems so rare nowadays, (C'mon. The Bachelor/ette is 3 hours long a week) and you never seem to be thinking, "is this episode over yet?"

After I finish Weeds, I think I may try Dexter. My Netflix suggests it to me all the time. Any Dexter watchers out there?

War of the Crickets.

Since we have moved into our apartment, we occasionally have moments with crickets being really loud. Once there was a cricket that had gotten into the wall for a few days and I was moments from getting a sledge-hammer to find that little sucker because it was driving me crazy.

If I lived out in the country and had this fabulous porch wrapping around my house where I could sit in my rocking chair from Cracker Barrel and drink fresh sweet tea in the evenings, I'd probably love the sound of the crickets as I rocked slowly back and forth taking in everything nature had to offer.

I don't live in the country.

I don't have a Cracker Barrel rocking chair on my porch with a great view.

I certainly don't live where the weather is nice enough to sit outside and feel a "cool" breeze.

I do however live in an apartment where my porch has a grill and a small table that when I sit there looks at another building in our complex and the weather here is hot and humid. So in the evenings, my husband and I will curl up on the couch (with a laptop nearby, of course. It's 2010. Technology is in our lives.) and watch shows together until he decides that he ready to go to bed. I kiss him goodnight and go back to the living room or spare room and watch things on the DVR that don't interest him or random items that I can instant stream from Netflix. (Weeds, anyone? I love that show.) Everything is great, right.

Well, except for the crickets that have currently taken residence in the plants right outside my front door. They are so loud it sounds like they're IN MY HOUSE and I can hear them even in our bedroom with the door closed. I have decided that when it's just one cricket, it's more annoying than when there are many crickets, but still. If they could go to the grass across from my apartment, I'm sure that the crickets and I could get along fine, but since they've set up camp outside my door, tension is being set up.

Did you know if you go outside and just randomly spray your Raid for Flying Insects it won't kill the crickets? I probably sprayed half a can all over the plants and ground outside of my door, (which will probably kill the plants, but hey, they aren't mine. The complex can deal with that.) and the crickets have still made it.

I will say, however, that the day I decided to go out there and spray, a cricket got into my apartment, and that cricket lost the battle of his attempted invasion. I'm sorry, PETA, but crickets are freaky.

If you have any cricket-repellent pointers, please, tell me. It's been a nightly issue for the last few days and it's getting old.

Le sigh.

Since I have billions upon billions of readers, I'll apologize now for keeping you all on the edge of your seats waiting for a new post.

What have I been doing, you ask? Well, you didn't ask, but you're going to hear it.

Last week I was having a Nip/Tuck marathon via Netflix (the only perk of my husband having an XBox) and let's be honest here: watching those episodes was for more exciting than me finding something to ramble about. Of course everyone finds me delightfully entertaining, Nip/Tuck is still better than me.

We were house-sitting this weekend, and I really had little to do, so I managed to get through the rest of the series. (I was on season 5 of 6). I know, major waste of time, but whatever. What else am I supposed to do? I'm not cool enough to get hired for a job that I definitely meet the qualifications for and then some.

Let's talk about that.

HIRE ME NOW, mkay? No? That doesn't work?

I feel like I have submitted ninety-trillion resumes with a personalized letter of interest for each job for each school for each district. I applied for 6 different jobs, and it's looking pretty grim. Hardly any other districts have any openings left, (openings which I have applied for, wasn't called back on and then the jobs closed) and it's just so frustrating. I know, we have a huge population of unemployed people in the world, blah blah blah, and it didn't really bother me that I wasn't working, except I feel like working. My husband makes enough for us to live comfortably on, but we can't afford any trips or, oh, I don't know, a house or something.

Students in the area start school on Monday. If things don't work out for me, (which I'm sure they won't) then I'll just go and try to find a job doing something else, that not at all in my field that will do nothing to build my resume.

Sweet.

Can you tell I'm frustrated?