Writing a Facebook Status 101

You've heard me complain about it before, but the status updates that some people post are ridiculously annoying.

As you can see here, this is a topic that really drives me nuts.

Of course the simplest solution would be to hide people, delete them or something like that, but that would be far too simple. I do have several people hidden on my News Feed, and I have deleted people for being repeat offenders.

To keep you from being an offender to me or someone else, I have a few tips for you:

• Keep it interesting.
• If you're just running errands for the day, there is no need to list the particular errands. Chances are that the ONLY people that would care to read that would be your significant other and your mother if she's your friend on FB for the sole purpose of using FarmVille.

• Don't allow every single application that you use to update your status.
• Again, absolutely nobody cares about how many new 'meals' your 'flingin' in CafeWorld or which new outfit you got on Sorority Life. Well, maybe the people you added for the purpose of having someone as your "neighbor" or in your Sorority.

• DO NOT update with what television show or movie you're watching EVERY SINGLE DAY for every moment of the day that you're watching something
• Again, absolutely nobody cares.

• Using the "check-in" feature is fine, but limit it if:
• You never go anywhere interesting
• You only "check-in" when you've just arrived at home

• Don't only update your status with crap from Status Shuffle
• 9.9999 times out of 10 the status wasn't amusing in the first place.
• If you're only updating your status with Status Shuffle, you probably don't need to update your status. Be original.

• For the love of all that is holy, DON'T punctuate your statuses (statii?) with LOL.
• I seriously doubt that "doing laundry" is worthy of laughter.
• Maybe if the update was funny, but if your status is, "Doing laundry today, lol" then please realize that it's NOT FUNNY.

• Status Length (This is a 2-parter)
• Part I: Usually the shorter the status, the better it is. If it's a paragraph, know that it's probably too much.
• Part 2: Limit the number of updates you have in a single day. Some days I may post more than other days, but at the most it's 2-3 a day, and that doesn't happen that often. If you're posting more than 5 a day, you need to back away from the computer or Facebook mobile.
• People DO make fun of you if you fall into either of these categories.

This class has been brought to you free-of-charge. It's a special gift to you for the new year! Hey, speaking of the new year, if you feel like you are an offender, make a New Year's Resolution to change it. After all, you're probably the person who listed 45 of your resolutions in your status a few days ago!

Oh hi, nerves. You're a little tense lately.

I am officially one-step closer to having to having a job...I got an interview! I mentioned here that there was a chance that there was a possible job opening for me to start teaching, and it has happened. Now, I can actually talk a little bit about it.

The job is at my old high school, and it would be teaching theatre, which incidentally, is exactly what I went to school for. The theatre teacher that I had has changed positions within the high school and now I have this outstanding opportunity before me to take her place. The interview is tomorrow, and I have been nervous about it since the moment I found out, which is odd for me, because I'm generally not an overly-nervous person. It's just that I really, really, really want this. While I no longer live in the city limits of my hometown, I do live a whopping twenty-minutes away, which has allowed me to stay active within the community via my church. With the number of things that our church does that I've assisted with over the years, I have been fortunate to know a lot of the students in the high school already, and I feel that that's a good thing, especially since their current teacher is leaving mid-semester.

Overall, I feel like I have the ability to really 'wow' the interviewers tomorrow, but I do feel like I have one strike against me that could definitely be a defining moment as to whether or not I get this job. I'm still not at the point to start my "internship" level of my program, which is the level where I may legally be hired as a full-time teacher. However, in about two weeks, I will be. I take my content-area test this Saturday, and it takes about two-weeks for the results to come in. That's all I have to wait for---the results of the test. As long as I pass it, (which I feel confident that I will) I am legally hirable. Hopefully, the interviewers will be so taken by me that they'll be willing to wait.

Dear God, I hope so. I feel like a little kid crossing their fingers in hopes of getting that pony for Christmas.

I have ashamedly gotten my hopes up for all of this, which frustrates me, but someone told me yesterday that having my hopes up will show how much I want it in the interview, so I guess there's that.

Quick change of topic:

For the people that seem to think that status updates on Facebook = a diary...

Get an online journal. Please. I do not need or want a minute-to-minute play-by-play of the occurences in your life. If I wanted to read every mundane detail of your life, I'd subscribe to your LiveJournal account.

But then again, you'd probably have a Xanga.

There is honestly someone who has posted not 1, not 2, but SIX status updates today, all of which were posted by 10:30am.  It's not even noon. Your day cannot be that exciting before noon. I refuse to believe it.

If you feel like I'm taking about you, I probably am, in which case, it's time for you to get an account with one of the aforementioned online-jounal communities.




Now that I've said that, hopefully I'll know something soon about the job. If you're reading, please do whatever it is that you do when you want to wish someone luck, whether it be praying or carrying around a rabbit's foot. I'd really appreciate it, times eleventy. :)