My first official domestic failure.

I'll warn you, this is sort of gross.

For Thanksgiving, I was a domestic rockstar and with the help of my mom, threw together quite the Thanksgiving feast. Every thing was delicious and I was beyond pleased with how it turned out.

I had made some green beans and thrown them into the crock pot so they'd stay warm all day.

Well...I forgot to clean that out. It was in the corner of the kitchen on the counter, and to be entirely honest, I just genuinely forgot about it.

So fast forward to...oh...I don't know...AFTER CHRISTMAS (shudder) and I made a discovery that I had forgotten these green beans. For a month. On the counter. In a crock pot.

I got in touch with my inner bravery, held by breath, pulled my shirt over my nose, turned on the water and garbage disposal and began disposing if what was left.

HOLY CRAP. It was foul. So anyway, I wash it all out, and I was like, "Wow! I'm so brave! There was like, old bacon in there and I found the courage to wash it and like, oh my gosh, I win the best-housewife-mistake-recovery award! Weeeeeee!!!"

Except something still smelled a little funky. I rewashed the bowl and lid, soaked them overnight...everything. Finally I realized that the smell was IN the rubber on the lid.

After doing more than one treatment of baking soda, I finally gave up yesterday and threw the whole thing away. I think I had only used it twice before that. Boo.

Oh well. They've updated that model, and now it comes with a spoon and spoon holder!

Writing a Facebook Status 101

You've heard me complain about it before, but the status updates that some people post are ridiculously annoying.

As you can see here, this is a topic that really drives me nuts.

Of course the simplest solution would be to hide people, delete them or something like that, but that would be far too simple. I do have several people hidden on my News Feed, and I have deleted people for being repeat offenders.

To keep you from being an offender to me or someone else, I have a few tips for you:

• Keep it interesting.
• If you're just running errands for the day, there is no need to list the particular errands. Chances are that the ONLY people that would care to read that would be your significant other and your mother if she's your friend on FB for the sole purpose of using FarmVille.

• Don't allow every single application that you use to update your status.
• Again, absolutely nobody cares about how many new 'meals' your 'flingin' in CafeWorld or which new outfit you got on Sorority Life. Well, maybe the people you added for the purpose of having someone as your "neighbor" or in your Sorority.

• DO NOT update with what television show or movie you're watching EVERY SINGLE DAY for every moment of the day that you're watching something
• Again, absolutely nobody cares.

• Using the "check-in" feature is fine, but limit it if:
• You never go anywhere interesting
• You only "check-in" when you've just arrived at home

• Don't only update your status with crap from Status Shuffle
• 9.9999 times out of 10 the status wasn't amusing in the first place.
• If you're only updating your status with Status Shuffle, you probably don't need to update your status. Be original.

• For the love of all that is holy, DON'T punctuate your statuses (statii?) with LOL.
• I seriously doubt that "doing laundry" is worthy of laughter.
• Maybe if the update was funny, but if your status is, "Doing laundry today, lol" then please realize that it's NOT FUNNY.

• Status Length (This is a 2-parter)
• Part I: Usually the shorter the status, the better it is. If it's a paragraph, know that it's probably too much.
• Part 2: Limit the number of updates you have in a single day. Some days I may post more than other days, but at the most it's 2-3 a day, and that doesn't happen that often. If you're posting more than 5 a day, you need to back away from the computer or Facebook mobile.
• People DO make fun of you if you fall into either of these categories.

This class has been brought to you free-of-charge. It's a special gift to you for the new year! Hey, speaking of the new year, if you feel like you are an offender, make a New Year's Resolution to change it. After all, you're probably the person who listed 45 of your resolutions in your status a few days ago!